A Very Expensive Holiday

This summer my husband and I made a trip back to the US to visit my parents in Florida. Through their generosity, it barely registered on our bank account. They covered the flights and we stayed at their home, ate their food, and relied on their hobbies for entertainment.  But, in the long-term, this will probably be one of the most expensive trips we’ve ever made.

Why?  Four little letters: HGTV – Home and Garden Television. This was running constantly in the background and should come with a Surgeon’s General Warning for addictiveness. HGTV’s clever back-to-back programming made it hard to break away.  One more Property Brothers?  Sure, why not, let’s make it an even half dozen.

The repetitive formats of the shows and their adherence to a fairy tale structure likewise make them hard to top. There’s the beginning: the house in dire need of repair and modernisation—will it make it to the ball by the tight deadline they’ve set? The middle: high tension and drama as structural problems may be found or designs changed midway through the building process. The happily ever after: the fairy godmothers and godfathers of design work their magic, and couples view their new castle after its transformation from frog to prince. Laughter, tears, and hugs abound. The end … until the next episode.

The shows have now become regular viewing whenever we have a bit of free time. We have dinner with Jonathan and Drew Scott of the Property Brothers and Buying & Selling, and have considered making a drinking game out of Brother vs. Brother for every time Wayfair.com gets a mention. Likewise, every time Joanna Gaines says “Do you have the guts to take on a fixer-upper?” in the credits of the eponymous show, we answer “No!” … and keep watching to see what miracles she and her husband can pull off.

Of course, the expensive part comes afterwards, when you start to look around your own house and think, “I could do that.” The shows tap into a deep vein of aspiration: I didn’t know my bedroom needed a feature wall … but now I want one. A double-sink vanity in the bathroom? Yes please! Underfloor heating? A girl can dream.

It’s not completely the fault of HGTV. When we purchased our first (and hopefully last) house nearly three years ago, we got a taste of the renovation bug. Built in the early 2000s, the house was brand new—and huge—by UK standards, especially when compared to our 19^th-century rental cottage with its wonky floors, galley kitchen, and zero insulation. However, the décor and layout were already feeling dated. So the wall between the kitchen and formal dining room came down, all of the carpet (so. much. carpet.) ripped out and hardwood floors put in, a new kitchen installed, and a tiny downstairs loo converted into a utility room. With the help of Freecycle, almost everything (including the carpet) found a new home with someone else.

Of course, we didn’t actually do any of this ourselves.  A friend of my husband’s had started up a design and building company, and it was an enormous relief to turn things over to James and Willow Works. Especially since we disappeared off to a wedding in Sri Lanka for two weeks, leaving him to make decisions for us (sorry, James!).  My guiding principles were that the place should be classic and timeless, with a little bit of shabby chic thrown in for good measure, and that’s exactly what we got.

I had great plans for doing the place up further once we moved in, adding pops of colour on the magnolia backdrop and personalising it even more. But life intervened and other things moved to the top of the priority list. Those area rugs I wanted to add to break up the hardwood? I never found any I liked. The new light fixtures in the living room to update the look? Ditto. Finding time to clear out the garage?  There are so many other things that could be done instead. Everything was liveable and nothing urgent. But now HGTV has come along and woken up the sleeping decorator in me: it’s time to dig up that old to do list and look at the house with fresh eyes.